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Chapter 1: Navigating Anger



NAVIGATING ANGER is the second meditation for Chapter 1: Emotional First Aid Kit


Anger is a valid emotion, just like any other emotion. However managing it is never quite easy. It has a way of taking over, overwhelming our mind and interrupting our ability to discern what is a wise action versus an impulsive behaviour. One of the reasons why I would like to heal our relationship with anger is because it is an emotion that holds a tremendous amount of valuable information. It helps us to truly know ourselves. Anger gives us insight into what our values and standards are. It tells us if we feel we are being wronged or violated in some way. Anger is a motivator emotion and inspires people to take action and make changes. Anger gives us the courage to put our foot down and say: ENOUGH!


But anger can be scary too, especially if it’s used irresponsibly. Some people use it as an excuse for horrible behaviour. Anger that is unprocessed and unacknowledged turns into a slow burning rage, boiling down in the depths of our unconscious mind. We put our walls up, push people away and defend ourselves at all costs. When there are too many NO’s that have gone unsaid, the anger gets misplaced and unloaded onto other areas of our lives. We live outside of our value system and treat those we love in inauthentic ways.


When we are angry, it becomes all too tempting to give in to impulses and to act outside of our value system. A sarcastic eye roll, a mean comment or even an aggressive gesture might feel like it comes from a genuine place in that particular moment, but if we dig deep into who we really are and what our values truly are, we can have a better understanding of what kind of behaviour we actually agree with or not.


We simply ask ourselves: How do I like to be treated? Would I appreciate to have someone roll their eyes at me? Do I like receiving mean comments? Would I actually feel safe around someone who is physically aggressive? We can try to match our own behaviour towards others with how we would personally like to be treated by others. We can try acknowledging our anger and expressing it in safe ways. We can yell into a pillow. We can push all the energy through strenuous physical activity like jogging, kickboxing or other sports. We can talk to a safe someone or a therapist. We can write it all out on paper or create all kinds of art. As a matter of fact, the best painting I have ever done was created during a period of intense turmoil, where I was swimming in feelings of injustice and resentment. That painting won first prize at the end of the year art show when I was in college and it would have never existed without my rage. Being open to responsible ways of expressing our anger can be life changing.


Admittedly, I have had major problems with anger throughout my life. It is much better now, but I sometimes still act outside of my value system. It is a lifelong commitment to try and resolve anger issues, but it is one well worth the effort. For those of us who witness ourselves being mean, it can be helpful to acknowledge it and apologize as early as possible. It can be helpful to ask for a re-do and to attempt a second response that aligns better with us, genuinely. It can be helpful to look for ways to make amends for the pain we’ve cause in our moments of anger and to find unique solutions to actively stop repeating that behaviour in the future. It can help to make a plan in our mind, and in our heart, to choose better next time… and to trust in our ability to make meaningful changes. This is true accountability. We don't shame ourselves. We forgive ourselves, we make real changes and we choose better next time. Anger then becomes an exciting opportunity for growth. We can then congratulate ourselves when we notice small, gradual improvements.


For parents or guardians, it can be especially helpful to meet the anger of children and teens with empathy and compassion, and to help them learn to choose healthy, productive outlets for their frustrations. We validate the feeling of anger and lovingly put boundaries around safely expressing it. This is a pure act of love and a powerful investment in our younger generation.


Have fun getting to know your anger.

Have fun expressing your anger in safe ways.


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Chapter 1: Emotional First Aid Kit

  1. Self-Love

  2. Navigating Anger

  3. Navigating Sadness

  4. Resilience

 

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BREATHING IS ACTION is a meditative affirmation podcast for teens and adults. For everyone, everywhere. Let's be the change we want to see in the world!

 

Writing, research and production by: Macie Leblanc-Smith

Editing by: Macie Leblanc-Smith, Marc-Olivier Plouffe

 

Music: Rebuild Me (Instrumental Version) by Tommy Ljungberg on Epidemic Sound


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